she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
