Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Randomize
