Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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