I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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