so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
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