eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
