I puked a lego.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
