i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
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