you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
