I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
In America we eat man semen.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
