just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
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