i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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