kristin has been a bad kristin
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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