marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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