small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Randomize
