i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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