How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
