I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
