Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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