K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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