Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
