My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Randomize
