So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
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