we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
