I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
