Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
