So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
