the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
