I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
