how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Watching her eat just hurts me
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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