i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
