Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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