i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
