Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
