Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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