So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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