she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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