um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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