so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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