Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
