I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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