i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
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