I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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