i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
