remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
