I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
