youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
