The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
