Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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