I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
that's an acceptable place to lick
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
My life is pants optional.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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