I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
In America we eat man semen.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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