The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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